September 9, 2011

Adventures in Stay at Home Mom-ness

Being a stay at home mom is so radically different than being on maternity leave. I'm a week in and I have definitely learned the difference, but I am loving every second of it.

Maternity leave: spending all day cuddling with your baby and leaving those dirty dishes and piles of laundry unattended because, hey, you have to go back to work in 6-8 weeks and you have to get all this baby bonding in while you can. Dust bunnies the size of chihuahuas are the norm. Couches are lined with burp cloths and receiving blankets. The baby is clean and well-dressed, but what's that? I haven't brushed my hair in two days? That's okay, BECAUSE I NEED ALL THE TIME I CAN GET WITH MY SWEET PRECIOUS BABY BEFORE I HAVE TO LEAVE HER SO THE DAMN BRUSH CAN WAIT, wahhh.  Aww, the baby is fussy, so I can't possibly get to the vacuum because my baby NEEDS ME. Etc.

Stay at home mom: you mean now there's no excuse for not running the dishwasher? And keeping the house relatively presentable? Hmm, I just now noticed I am completely out of clean clothes.  I guess it's time to reacquaint myself with el washing machine. And maybe with the shower. Don't want that spit-up smell to sink in or anything. Eau de baby barf is not cute (it really wasn't cute during maternity leave, either). The baby won't stop crying and acts like it's the end of the world if I put her down, but I need to create ideal living conditions in this house and I can't very well do that if she's freaking out.

If anyone knows me, then you'll know I was the anti-domestic prior to having a baby.  Cleaning only had to be done because living in grossness is unacceptable and I burned toast on a regular basis. I hated the vacuum. I openly boasted that children were not for me and I would hire "help" one day.

Funny how things work out, huh? 

Peyton decided that she was up for the day at 7:30 this morning.  This makes for a very long day, because I am blessed with the baby that doesn't nap. I mean, never, ever, ever naps. Peyton's definition of a nap is closing her eyes on my shoulder for five minutes and then snapping her little eyes open the second I put her in the crib, all "WTF, j/k, mom." She is the best sleep-faker ever. She only naps well if I lay down with her. The dilemma, at first: if I'm napping with the diva baby, how will I ever get things done? I have EXPECTATIONS I have to live up to now! Clean home! Dinner made! Laundry done!

Today I took advantage of the early start and put the munckin in her carrier and strapped that bad boy to my chest.  I managed to get my own and her laundry finished, the kitchen mopped, and the living room swept. I even (gasp) dusted. Then I got bored, so I baked a cake. Everything was done before 10:00 AM, leaving plenty of time for baby cuddling.

As for the whole cooking thing, I'm about to make the leap into cooking once a month and preparing freezer meals. I'm sure I'll be sharing my experiences with that.

Ultimately, my house is clean, I baked (!!!), Peyton is dressed and fed, but I slightly resemble a homeless person. I'm totally cool with that, though. Baby steps, you know?

I am the goddess of domesticity, nice to meet you.

Naps are for PUNKS, mom.


  1. Hello my Beautiful BRITT! Follow me!!!

  2. Britt, as I was walking the baby I babysit I started reading your story! I find your stories are very amusing and funny! Keep it coming! Maybe your true calling in life is writing stories? I think your pretty good at it! I look forward to the next one! ; )

  3. I love your blog. It brings me back to when I had to do all that. At least my baby took (2) 2hour naps daily and slept all night. Come to think of it she still would do it if she could. Miss you!